Friday, February 24, 2006

Life at the Crossroads


Just to set the context for this blog. I along with three of my friends Saurabh, Pulkit and Anand have decided to ditch our jobs and start an institute to train students for engineering and medical entrance examinations. This was last week of December and since then phewwwww its been a rollercoaster ride.

Initially I wanted to blog bout our intentions and reasons as to why we choose to do so, coz that was invariably what everyone was inquisitive about and quite naturally too. But if we just leave aside the reasons and ponder on the experiences we had during the last few weeks, well that would make for a better and more interesting blog.

Times sure are changing!!!

They say home is the best support ……………………… well, that is also the first foundation which wobbles when you produce some kind of Earth shattering news. It was an earthquake alright when I informed my parents about my latest intended Adventure. Needless to say they got an attack of fits when they heard that I was going to Patiala and start this. First, I am their only son (and lemme tell you the amount of pampering I get: I still don’t know how to press my clothes, and till 10th class I din knew how to tie my laces; those are just two facts) and secondly, them being native south Indians; if these points are not enuff, what got them even more jitters was that I was going to Punjab which my dad still refers to as Afghanistan( I mean Pakistan was also fine, but Afghanistan!!!), nyways this was what happened............frequency of phone calls increased 10 fold (which in normal times was also above the otherwise 'normal':D) and every time they used to come with innovative arguments to convince me that going to (Afghanistan!!) was not the best option. The best one was from my dad who said "Son u r young, if u quit job then u r left income less......do one thing, stick with the job, then do an MBA, which will help u get an even better job and then marry.........and then u`ll have 2 earning members in ur family, and then u can leave ur job". phewwwww

Well I would confess the most problematic part is that my dad is a CA and he has this tendency to analyze and quantify each and every thing............we engineers talk and think in logical terms............these people understand only numbers............if u can not quantify even a bit, u wont make any sense to them, u r dead.

Well as a reaction my frequency of b`lore trips to my home also increased...........well in my 6 months stay I din make so many trips to b`lore as I had made in three weeks.

Somehow I managed to convince them with a bit of Logical/quantifiable arguments added by a tinge of senti and philosophical bullshit. Well in the end u know that I`m their only son :D......u get the picture, right:)

With my parents done (well not exactly but to a manageable limit).........next came my (their) inner circle of relatives..............well I dont care a damn about them so din even bother to inform or convince them..........really don’t care. It’s me and my mom & dad, thts all I care............something which I’m criticized a lot about, but hey thts how I’m brought up, independent.

Now came my inner circle of friends..............and well they are gems..........I knew they would understand and they did.............suggested a bit, gave me pros and cons, helped me a bit in more introspection and ofcouse assured me that they r there. I would not be able to do nything without u guys, although i`m not very expressive in such matters but u mean a lot to me. Luv u ppl(everyone knows who they r to me, I need not mention ny name here)

Life at the crossroads is wht I have chosen as the title.

Coz I feel I was in at the crossroads...........there were many roads that lay in front of me and I knew just some things as facts. Till now I was traveling on a big highway and if I continue to follow that I knew where i`ll be going, what my errands would be, my future would be. Others were little obscure............some dark and as robert frost would have said, "the grass on them wanted a wear".
And that intrigued and titillated me............I love uncertainty, for it allows you to mould/remold
ur self.

And well, I chose the one with the lesser claim.............may be if things may not work, I`ll return to some other highway at the other crossroad, but that was an argument to pacify my brain which was pinning me with all the pros and cons, positives and negatives.........and with each negative my body secreting more panic enzymes.

Coz in my heart I knew, tht I shall never return to the highway, because I`ll make a highway of that narrow lane, for others to follow; thts my endeavor.

Strange it seems for the human kind............but everyone has an ego, everyone wants to prove one right and in the process can go to any lengths.........Just to prove wht one did was right pushes u tht extra mile and makes possible a sometime seemingly impossible task.

I know that many people believe otherwise...........the same group who counsels you to do this and that and are the first ones to criticize when u fail.

Yes I want to prove them wrong...........yes I have things to prove to the world and set some examples.

Well, things seem funny when u r thru the process. I for one am still in the process.......I do not know if the road will lead onto ways........or just fade away into solitude & darkness. But what I know for sure if I lay here following the same path, I`ll regret all my life; whatIF I had taken the other road at the crossroads?

The experience so far has been pure fun.

Never knew if it was so much fun working for oneself. You are the master of ur destiny, of ur time, of ur fun. Having fun while doing it all..............infact learnt the meaning to the phrase" Work should be fun".

Yes I have embarked on my journey..............I’m loving it. Spirits are high, hopes higher and dreams soaring.

I previously worked in an office with a huge campus. Mine now is a 1600 SqFT floor. I used to have a free coffee dispenser by my side............here I have none. There was a receptionist and many security guards who opened doors for me and who smiled when I came in. Here I smile at the open empty room when I get in..............I smile at the prospect tht this room will one day have all those facilities and even more and a receptionist will be there and greeting me and whts more. She will be my employee............I will own all of them. I miss those huge lawns and buildings and flowers at my corporate office...........but I dream of creating a better thing for myself.

:) hhmmm

Following the highway as my dad says would have surely given me a life of certainty and that is exactly wht I resented.
I hate constancy........

I understand small things and many people have this notion that i`m too logical. But to tell the truth most of the BIG decisions come from my heart. I get influenced by small things which appeals to my heart.........and one of those is if u imagine urself 10 years from now and u look back and try to remember moments in your life, there should be things worth remembering. Crazy things perhaps, but there should be some!! C`mn man!!! wht will u tell ur grand children about.............

I don’t know where this will lead me; success or failure, but really who cares. For me this journey itself exemplifies success. For it pacifies my heart and one should always follow his heart.

Mind gives all the arguments, it takes into account all the factors, fears, social expectations, peer pressures etc. Heart understands small things, it just knows you and actually knows what YOU want to become.

Just follow your heart, do HELL with the world. And then, well as the Nike commercial says "Just Do It"

Well, :), hmm

Times sure are changing..........and I am loving every bit of it:)

7 comments:

zxcv said...

sorry to use the cliche' but beauty surely lies in details
Thou we had talked abt this and somewhere down the line my plans but reading this, all of it makes more sense now.
it takes a man to do wat he really wants to, i dunno wen i'll be that man, maybe i'll have many more vamsi's to get inspired from, maybe not.
Thou we hardly spent a week together but somehow the MTs or atleast some of them have become more dear than most of the ppl i've been meeting the whole of my life, and u r one of them... so remember dude if u need any help or any thing irrespective of it snding stupid or rude or out of this world, do not think twice befire dropping in a word.
Wishing u the bestestest of luck at this crossroad, and i'm sure that u'll be successful in achieving all ur dreams coz all come at crossroads in life but there are few who dare take the turn.
a salute to one who has dared!!!

zxcv said...

BTW if u r wondering zxcv is me Arnav

Nagendra said...

hmmmmm.......

zxcv said...

now for the lighter side of life
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Ashish Gupta said...

tu yaha :O
Kuutttttteeeeeeee mujhe chod kar kaha chala gaya tha :(( *sob,sob*


I LOVE YOU BABES
muuaaaahhhhhhhhhh :-*

KAVIRAJ KOBRA said...

Its a very brave decision man!!!!! Hats off to u!!! May be some day I could take a step like that. I had already told this to u earlier but once again my best wishes are with u all. Hope u succeed in ur endeavor!!!!